Alright! I made it to the morning and then my silly sister called me up to ask about Roller-blades. In the morning! Wanted to go out and have dinner with Robin and Reico, but then Reico had some stuff so she can't goe. SO I had to cancel on Robin. And anyway, there's my little cousin's birthday. Crap. I think I'll go out shopping for her present at Borders later. Probably buy Philip Pullman's trilogy or something along those lines. Yippee!!! Life is moving on, I can feel the wheels of time vibrating to start whisking me off! I got your message Fiona, don't worry about it, I know what you were doing, I know exactly what you were doing! I'm so angry! *mock defiance* heh heh heh. Thanks babe, I can see why Miss K takes a liking to you. Heh heh...and No, the poem was not about SEX and all. It was about a weapon. A rifle. An M16 to be exact (showing off knowledge of weapon from NCC that is the only thing from that CCA helping Erwin now). So yeah...it's okay if you did not get it, it was a killer-paper meant to totally Kausikanicate all of us and all who escaped the Kalyanicaust probably would be put into the position in fornt of her to be gassed with her breath. Yeesh, that's one evil thought. Unless of course, there's a slim possibility that she wasn't the one who set it. Oh! I just heard the double A-side track by Sophie Ellis-Bextor "Get Over You" and my my, some great stuff there. Plus, if they release "Move this Mountain" Hoho! That is like the good-est, most best-est song in her CD. I also followed Hui's instruction and DLed "Beauty on The Fire". I must say that it's quite good. I think I'm going to buy the CD. Yippee! I am so thankful for having at least someone I can trust, Haw Han. Sweet! And then there are people in SAJC who I do believe are sane and not particularly off and really, none of them seem to have lost their marbles, except probably...hmmm...wait, no. Not many actually. It's the season to be thankful. To the Janelle Mak gang, hey um, gals, I don't irritate you because I want to make your life miserable and ruin your day to the ground, if you relax a little when I'm around and stop thinking of snide things to say to me, then maybe you would be able to actually laugh at something for once. Cool your heels, I'm not there to mock you and say things to hurt you. Yeah, anything. And Hui, please please please give up the 'our-eyes-met' thing, it's absolutely killing the hell out of me. Good morning Singapore and signing off, it's the one and only Erwin Nah *melody background Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, Hey hey!!!* Yes, Natalie! I lie awake in the morning, thinking about calling her!!! heh heh heh...that's a nice song, Satellite. Enjoy the weekend (I shall not mention to them that on Monday Oral begins)!!!
evil
erwin
nah
It's this late and I'm still awake. I tell you this is the one of the most possible day for me. Crap. Why can't anyone just leave me alone to just deal with my own problems and shit. I can stand this crap, it seems like everytime someone seems to be trying top help my ex-girlfriend do something to exact revenge on something I typed. Well, I type what is the truth here. If there's anything I regret typing, apprpriate apologies will be made or the mistake will be corrected (See below). It's irritating to know that someone is against you but you don't know who they are. Your friends may turn out to be not what they are at all. My ex has plenty going on for her and I am totally exhausted already, tired of people passing judgements on me and placing stuff that is just nonsense. I'm tired of fighting, tired of forever trying to see the world in black and white, like in my dreams. She knows who placed that link up on the site, and I'm supposed to forget about trying to find out who it is. Well, it just makes me not ever regret my decision. No more looking back. It's so over for me. I mean, how can someone withold such information, I understand it's her friend and all, but come on, it's like I...sigh. You see, that is her friend who put that link up onto my site, but she says that he's not the one who wrote the entry and that he did it out of anger and he's sorry for it. Well now, you would think that I'll go all smug about this or forgive it and say "Oh, you know, it's all right, yeah, he did it for you, I understand. Yeah it's cool." Well, you know what, I'm not in a position to say that. If I do, that deranged person would probably think that I'm mocking him and try it again. He's probably only apologising and saying that because it's for my ex. I think it's time to move on, but it just seems like everyone seems to want to help her out. You know, read into Erwin's blog deep enough, we'll definitely find evidence that he was not faithful to her, then we'll assume that and go do something for her. You know what? Enough is enough, I think it's time you should all just quit this whole thing okay, it's getting tiresome. I cannot understand what it is that drives you people, what it is that seems to make you want to help her so much, you mean she's a victim of sorts, a person so distressed that you're obligated to constantly assist and lend that helping hand over and over and over again? I know it sounds cold and callous, but why is it that every time I seem to have placed an end to this whole affair, someone decides that they absolutely have all the time in the world and that they need to help fuel this fire? Well, for the record, I do not want to mock that person who placed the link into my site. GET THIS CLEAR, I'M NOT MAKING FUN OF YOU, OKAY? I'm totally not sarcasticaabout any of this, please don't read into this too much, I'm just trying to state it like I'm talking to a little kid, because it seems like people don't seem to know when I'm being serious or sarcastic when I'm typing. Even my ex, who had no idea when I did not mean something and kept on thinking that there was some other meaning to things I said. Please please please stop reading my blog if you don't like it, and for that poor twit (not the person who placed the link) who wrote that entry, if you write anything inside my blog again, everybody get this: If you, Mr Twit, ever write anything deriative within my guestbook again, I will thank you. Especially if you write something in response to the entry below, then, it will be assumed by my audience that you have read my blog again and that you are genuinely interested in my life, the way I do things and are absolutely in need of attention from me. So save yourself the embarrassment and move on with life. And don't even think about doing that whole "He-can't-govern-what-I-do" routine and rebel against things to type another one. Without a name. I already had a crazed deranged bastard obsessed (probably still is...) with making my life miserable and making his life revolve around mine back in secondary school, don't require another one. If you type something again, please do so with the respect to yourself and type your name, I'm not so large or big that I can kick your ass can I? So stop being such a sissy, either you move on with your miserable existence in life going about typing things in other people's weblogs, or you collect what little courage you could possess and state your name and still let the whole world know that you're not much of a noticeable character or worth even considering. So hopefully this is goodbye. Goodbye, and if you ever smile at me when you see me, think about how pathetic your life is and what your main function in the world is, then move on and realise that it is probably meaningless for you to be here.
Good night to one and all! And thank you for watching, I promise you that tomorrow will be a happier day, no matter what happens, I will not carry on this hate-thing and revenge any longer, it's just childish and belongs to my past. See you all, I love all my friends! Thank you for being there. I genuinely thank every single one of you. I thank God for you. Sorry to all I've hurt unintentionally, I obviously did not mean to, and will be terribly apologetic if you let me know where I went wrong. I'm sorry. Thanks to all the people at SAJC, thank you to my classmates, Ann, Yue Yeng, Zhong Ying, Qiyuan, Benjamin, Joseph, Pei Wei, EndeeHalim (hang in there), John, Aletheia & Genevieve (though you're both not here anymore). I thank all the Breakfast Club people, Koustav, Hui, Jason. I thank those who allowed me what little happiness I could find on a day that was truly a great Herald for the terrible one yesterday. I thank Andrea, i thank Rui Ying, I thank Janelle, Fiona, Amanda, Delfine, Georgina, Selina (thanks for the brownies), Ann (you really have nice shoes, remembe which cartoon character it looks like ;-)), Eunice. I thank Serene for talking to me, and Janice for that nice warmth you expressed from one Saint to another, to allow him to speak to you. Thank you to Isaac, though I have no diea what you're like and you don't know what I'm like, at least I hope we don't hate each other. Thanks for being friendly in a world where it's dimming. I thank Hui for the songs of trust, I thank you truly for them. I thank Jason for being a good friend to me again, despite me being a little callous long ago in secondary school. I thank Koustav for being forgiving and not treating me like shit despite the fact that I was crap to him in primary school. I thank Andrea for herself. I thank Gerald Ho for being a really nice person despite me being moody to him, thanks for the daily smiles. Thank you to all who've made me go on working in school and to those I have not metioned here, I don't think you're going to receive loads of satisfaction even if you were, considering it's me. Oh yes, sorry, thank you to Kimberly for the vote of confidence the other day (and for the offer, heh). Thank you to YJC friends, my classmates there, Reico Wong, Robin Quek, Hui Luen (thanks for being there for all of us to bully), thank you to Namitha and the rest, thank you to Nicholas, Jessica, Lins (for finally letting me find you!), thank you thank you thank you to Mark and Geraldine and Sheena, Nicole, thank you, all of you.
Hope.
Enemies surround you all around
Shadowy figures are up and abound
Friend and enemy seems so alike
Helping each other to conspire this plight
To throw you in and let you fight
Is that your friend you see there next to her
The one who helped you during the year
Now the one who plunged the knife into your back
Whispered anger and silent hate used with tact
Used to weave the cloth that blinds your eyes
Day after day they stir the embers of fuelled hate; rise
Smoke higher and higher, swirl round and round
Twirl your formless fingers around their minds
Cast your spell and induce your purpose to create the hate; grind
And gnash their teeth and then evil is found
Within the hearts of these two, one spurned
The other blind to lust and loyalty burned
They begin their uprising
To remove this obstacle worth praising
He will stand his ground to the bitter end,
In the heart of winter his soul he will mend,
To return and vanquish those who tried to take his life
To return a favour and give them their deserved strife
Cast their bodies into the pit
With the Evil one they'll forever sit
And once again the bitter peace will return to the land
And time no longer held in the hour glass' sand.
They've tried to break you and stake you
To make all others forsake your side; you became a fool
Year after year they besieged your mind
Laid waste to your psyche
Because they saw that she seemed to need pity
And that you were not worthy for them, thus unkind
But then you came back for victory
Came back to reclaim what was lost, that soul you now carry.
Erwin Nah (29th June 2002)
I give thanks,
Erwin
